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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
While I was driving down the M3 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the bike, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked "Runway too short?". To which I replied, "I'm late for work.."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Speeding ticket: £105.00

Court costs: £45

Look on copper's face: Priceless.
 

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Thought you might be interested to know that following the UK
Government's freedom of information act you can now get access to ALL speed camera offences registered in the last 12 months.

You can check what has been registered against your vehicle at the following web address:

http://www.i-database.co.uk/
 

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ah dunkirk you scared me i thought my plate had been replicated!
 

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Hahaha, Dunkirk, that's brilliant!
I checked my dads car plate first, then my car.. Then my bike and saw recorded speed of 81mph, then I realised it must be fake :p
 

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Saw mine at 40 in a 30 on a junction from a Roundabout.
Sounds about right for the place they've just installed cameras :p
 

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Apparently I have been going 81.2 in a 70 and 3 hours away from where I live... I can't even hit that speed :p
 

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OWNED a Policeman so Bad m8 but it went heavy on ya wallet wouldnt it be better to try to talk to him normally and try to explain maybe he would let you go off with this ;P anyway nice dialog and the end was exciting 10/10 your the winner :D
When it comes to cams i dnt know much no point for me saying anything :D
Peace out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
OWNED a Policeman so Bad m8 but it went heavy on ya wallet wouldnt it be better to try to talk to him normally and try to explain maybe he would let you go off with this ;P anyway nice dialog and the end was exciting 10/10 your the winner :D
When it comes to cams i dnt know much no point for me saying anything :D
Peace out.
This didn't ACTUALLY happen to me by the way...
When I get pulled over (which happens a lot due to my age, and due to the R125 + L Plates)...
I am ever so polite!
Very much Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir.
Unless its a Women, in which case it's Ma'am :p

Although, that is partly due to me coming from a Boarding School up-bringing. I am used to calling almost all adults sir.
All my friends find it really weird, but to me it just feels natural.
 

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Fisher said:
This didn't ACTUALLY happen to me by the way...
When I get pulled over (which happens a lot due to my age, and due to the R125 + L Plates)...
I am ever so polite!
Very much Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir.
Unless its a Women, in which case it's Ma'am :p

Although, that is partly due to me coming from a Boarding School up-bringing. I am used to calling almost all adults sir.
All my friends find it really weird, but to me it just feels natural.
For a split second when I started to read I thought was you but then figured that you was not silly enough to speak to police like that. I am same as you when police pull me just be as polite as possible and they have nothing to react to.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner
 

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This didn't ACTUALLY happen to me by the way...
When I get pulled over (which happens a lot due to my age, and due to the R125 + L Plates)...
I am ever so polite!
Very much Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir.
Unless its a Women, in which case it's Ma'am :p

Although, that is partly due to me coming from a Boarding School up-bringing. I am used to calling almost all adults sir.
All my friends find it really weird, but to me it just feels natural.
Well i think i got the same reaction on older ppl also saying Sir,Ma'am and im 27 i think its just like respect to older ppl that we have this syndrome or tick or whatever you call that kind of behavior :D some older ppl actually feel ofended when i speak to them like that lol they say talk to me normally im not a grandpa or grandma lol sometime it paysoff sometimes youre in trouble lol:p
P.S good that this wasnt you m8 lots of trouble when you talk like that : its an example how NOT to talk to a police officer actually any other person aswell if you not respecting someone dont expect them to respect you :)
Peace out! ^^
 
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